Patdown or Scan?

"I'm not homophobic. I just don't like being touched by men."

That's what a friend of mine said about the airport patdown. I told him 'homophobic' was a political term and not an actual condition.

"Whatever," he said. "I still don't want some guy feeling me up at the airport."

And I agreed. I think travelers should be given a choice between a man or woman patting them down. I sure as hell don't want some guy checking my balls at the airport. I'd rather use the Advanced Imaging Technology machine compared to that type of intrusion.

"What about radiation?" he asked.

"I don't think it's no more then what you get when you nuke your Oodles of Noodles in the microwave," I shrugged. "And hey, if you don't like the patdown go greyhound."

That's kind of catchy, huh!